Musings
by mAd4H-p
Summary: Severus always wondered why Lily never noticed what was right beside her, what he didn’t realise was that James once thought exactly the same thing.
1. Severus

**Summery- Severus always wondered why Lily never noticed what was right beside her, what he didn't realise was that James once thought exactly the same thing. Neither thought that she might ****ever ****return**** the feelings. Three part story from different ****poin****ts of view.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot of this story.**

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Severus scowled, she was laughing with _him_The boy Severus had loathed from the moment they met, the one he now hated now more than ever as Lily was going out with him. Potter had wasted no time telling everyone that Lily was finally his. That night Severus had tried to seek Lily out and ask her why she was now dating the boy who had once made his life a living hell. However, he had not found her and after he saw them kissing he didn't think he could bear to face her about it.

Severus hoped that Lily didn't know he and Potter still never missed a chance to hex each other. If she did know it would tell him that she no longer cared about him at all. It would mean that she was happy for her boyfriend (the boy she had once hated as much as Severus had) to attack her former best friend.

_Best friend._He couldn't remember ever being as happy as when she had first said they were best friends. He had literally felt like he was soaring. When he had been younger he had always thought that at some point they would both simply fall in love, but she had never said anything that gave him the impression that her feelings for him were deeper than friendship.

He had often thought that maybe she realised his feelings for her, he had never told her, yet the resentment in his expression that he got even when she just talked to another boy, had maybe given her an idea that he cared about her even more than he let on.

He had literally felt his heart break the day he found out that Lily and James were dating. Wave's of anger and despair crashing over him. He had inwardly begged that she would realise he was the same attention seeking, arrogant prat he had always been, he had hoped that she might simply realise he was not the one for her. He was worried that with both her and Potter's adventurous natures, she might get into trouble, and then Severus would have lost her forever.

As much as he hated to admit it Severus knew that James loved her, yet he loved her more and had done for much longer. He had been her friend, the person who had told her about Hogwarts-about magic- they had spent their summers together, he had opened up to her in a way he had never done with anyone else, had she really never thought of him in any way other than friendship?

One thing Severus had always wished was that he and Lily had been sorted into the same houses, for if they had been they might never have drifted apart, maybe Potter wouldn't have even fancied her as much as he did if she had not been a Gryffindor.

He was brought abruptly out of his thoughts as he noticed Lily's vivid green eyes meet his own, he looked away quickly, not wanting to see hate or pity in her expression. He scowled to himself as Potter put his arm around Lily, and Severus swore to himself that he would prove he was worthy of Lily's love, no matter what it took, he couldn't let her marry _him_.


	2. James

James grinned to himself as Lily laughed; it always made him feel happy knowing that she found him amusing these days rather than annoying. The day she had agreed to go to Hogsmead with him had been one of the happiest of his life. He had been worried she would say no even though they had become friends, but she had agreed to go on a date with him and he had been so excited that he had announced it in transfiguration the next day without meaning to.

He knew Lily must have been embarrassed but she had also been laughing as people wolf whistled, so he had laughed too, and felt happier still when she pulled him into a cuddle afterwards, joking that she was _never_ going to tell him a secret as long as she lived.

They had kissed for the first time when they were in Hogsmead, though the Marauders had ruined the mood when they had started cheering and appeared from under James's invisibility cloak, yet there was nothing that could stop the smile had been on his face for the rest of the day.

He had wanted to go out with her for years, but she had been friends with Severus Snape, James had been happy the day she had ended their friendship, and had even felt some pride when he realised it had been partly his fault. No matter how sad Lily had been on that day James couldn't help feeling happy that she and he might eventually be on speaking terms now that she wasn't being influenced with Snape's stories about him.

James had always been sure that Snape had felt more than friendship for Lily and even suspected that she might like him back, and this became one of the many reasons he hated him. He had also been worried for Lily's safety; she had been almost blind to the fact that she was friends with a budding death eater. James had always wondered what Snape had done to deserve Lily's friendship, especially if he willing to put her in danger by hanging around with people like Mulciber and Avery, he hadn't treasured her friendship while he had had it in James's opinion.

Lily had been too mad too even look at James near the end of the fifth year but all through the sixth year they had become closer,and by the seventh year they were best friends-she even sometimes hung around with him and the Marauders.

That all seemed so long ago, though it was less than a year, they would be leaving school soon, leaving the life of pranking and joking around. They would be fighting to save the innocent, to stop family's from being broken up,to stop muggles from being tortured and killed over something they will never understand.

There was no certainty in their futures, however James knew that he would do whatever he could to protect Lily.


	3. Lily

Lily glanced at her boyfriend as she laughed and felt herself bush slightly when she noticed he was watching her. She had been dating James for months now and it was the happiest she had been for several years. He had asked her to move in with him after they left Hogwarts, a thought which made her slightly happier about leaving.

Two years ago Lily would have almost laughed at the thought of moving in with James Potter, yet things were very different now. She wasn't friends with Severus now and she could see him falling for the dark arts, becoming someone children and adults alike had nightmares about.

She supposed it must have seemed strange for a noble Gryffindor to be friends with a cunning Slytherin, but it as how she and Severus had been and, though they had drifted, Lily never wanted to forget her time with him, he had been her guide into a world she didn't understand and didn't always seem to belong to. For their first year they had been almost inseparable, but after they had started to hang around with people from their own houses and their time together had gradually become less and less.

Though she never would have said it at the time, she had often wondered if Severus had stronger feelings for her than friendship, he had looked at her then the same way James looked at her now. She had sometimes blushed the way she did when James looked at her like that now, a fierce possessiveness combined with love and a desperate desire. She had liked him back, she had realised after she had broke up their friendship, and she wondered if they would have been together now if it wasn't for that awful day after their defence against the dark arts exam.

Lily knew that she loved James; he had been there for her after her friendship with Severus had sunk, he had proved that he really cared about her by being nothing more than her friend for all of sixth year, and every day that she was with him he was still showing her that he loved her.

She looked towards the Slytherin table and met Severus's eyes, for a second she wished they were still young and were still the two children who had met in the park all those years ago, but only for a second, they were very different people now and when she felt James put his arms around her she smiled up at him. She had missed Severus and still did occasionally, but she had James and he was the only one who could make her almost forget that she would be leaving Hogwarts soon, leaving to fight against the person she once cared about more than any other.


End file.
